Just a Play
by Issho
Summary: The Spirit Team have recieved their next mission. But in order to do fufill this mission, they have to join the play Romeo and Juliet. Hiei is cast as Romeo. But as the play progresses, it's harder and harder to remember that it's just a play.
1. Chapter 1

"We have to _what_?" cried Yusuke. He and the rest of the spirit team were currently in Koenma's office receiving the orders for their next mission.

"I said, you have to join the play, _Romeo and Juliet_, so that you can spy on one of the other actors," said Koenma, "Are you deaf?"

"Why, exactly, must we have the entire group participate in the play?" asked Hiei coldly.

"Because I am the supreme ruler of Spirit World, and I said so," said Koenma arrogantly.

"And what about the oaf over there?" said Hiei, gesturing to Kuwabara, "I don't think he'd be able to remember his own name if it wasn't sewn onto his underpants; how is he supposed to remember lines?"

"Hey! I do _not_ have my name sewn onto my underpants!" said Kuwabara indignantly.

"Yes, well we need him to audition anyway. I could use a good laugh every now and again…" said Koenma, ignoring Kuwabara's comment.

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY THAT?" said Kuwabara.

"I mean exactly what I said," said Koenma.

"Calm down, Kuwabara," said Kurama. He grabbed Kuwabara's wrist as he attempted to charge the toddler. "When are the auditions?" asked Kurama in his usual calm tone.

"Tomorrow," said Koenma.

"Goodie…" said Yusuke sarcastically.

"I would suggest that you get some of you girl friends to audition as well; it may make things easier on you," said Koenma. "You could ask Keiko," he suggested to Yusuke.

"Keiko's not my girlfriend!" sputtered Yusuke.

"Well, she's your friend, isn't she?" said Koenma.

"Well, yeah, she is. But—"

"And she's a girl, right?"

"Yes."

"Well, then she would be your girl friend, wouldn't she?" Koenma's tone implied that he was talking to a baby, instead of a teenager.

Before Yusuke could answer, Hiei cut him off. "Don't you think we should know a bit more about the person we're watching? Such as their name?" he suggested coldly.

"Uh… Right…" said Koenma. The giant screen behind his desk flickered to life, and showed a teenage girl. She had dark brown eyes and dark auburn, almost black hair that reached her mid-back. She wore black leather that accented her generous figure.

"Keep it in your pants, gentlemen," said Koenma, referring to Yusuke and Kuwabara who were practically drooling over the girl in question. "Her name is Magia."

"I'll be Romeo if _she's_ Juliet!" said Yusuke.

"As if, Urameshi! She's gonna fall for me, and you're gonna watch! No woman is immune to the Kazuma Magic!" said Kuwabara, puffing up with what was, apparently, pride.

"You mean, excluding every woman you've ever met?" said Hiei in a bored tone. Yusuke and Koenma cracked up while Kurama bit his thumb to keep from laughing. Kuwabara deflated like a balloon as he glared at Hiei.

"O...okay," said Koenma as soon as he'd tamed his laughter enough to speak, "I suggest you all get your rest. I'll be watching your performance."

The team left without another word, Hiei in the lead.

The next day.

"OKAY PEOPLE! SCRIPTS ARE ON THE TABLE! AUDITIONS WILL START IN FIFTEEN MINUTES! REMEMBER, IF YOU DON'T SIGN UP, YOU DON'T AUDITION!" came a booming voice from the overhead speakers.

"Whew! Made it!" said Yusuke, panting slightly. Keiko appeared just after him.

"Why did you have to run so fast?" she panted, wiping the sweat from her brow absently.

"Well, if you didn't spend an hour trying to decide 'what to wear', we wouldn't have had to run!" said Yusuke.

"Just because you look stupid, doesn't mean _I_ have to," Keiko retorted. She began to search the crowd for a familiar face. "Hey look! There's Kurama and Kuwabara!" she said and began to drag Yusuke towards them.

"Hey, where's Hiei?" asked Yusuke when they finally reached the two boys. Grabbing a sign-up sheet, and handing another to Keiko, he began to fill it out.

"We don't know where he is, but if he isn't here soon…" Kurama cut himself off as he spotted the fire apparition in question. "Never mind, there he is!" said the fox.

The team wasn't surprised to find Hiei wearing his usual black. Three white belts adorned his waist, holding up his deadly katana. The team looked at him oddly.

"How did you get that in here?" asked Yusuke, pointing to the katana.

"Told 'em it was fake…" said Hiei with a shrug.

"And they believed you?" asked Kurama incredulously.

"They were American," Hiei said with another shrug of his shoulders.

"THE AUDITION STARTS IN 10 MINUTES! IF YOU DON'T SIGN UP, YOU DON'T AUDITION!" said the booming voice once again.

"I guess you should hurry, Hiei," said Yusuke, handing him a form. "You have to fill this out."

**The Form:**

_Name: _ Hiei Jaganshi

_Age: _ 17

_Height: _58 inches (without hair)

_Hair: _ Black, shoulder length.

_Gender:_ male

_Past Acting Experience: _None

_Desired Part: _--

_Audition results will be announced next week._

**End Form**

"I'll be right back…" said Keiko as she rushed off.

"COME _ON_ MAGIA! WE'RE GONNA BE LATE!" cried a very loud voice. The voice was followed by a pair of peculiar looking girls. The one that had shouted was wearing a red tube top with a mesh outer-shirt and a considerably short plaid skirt. She had shoulder-length blonde hair and blue eyes that obviously showed her every emotion. Her companion was none other than Magia herself. Today Magia wore black jeans that clung to her figure and a black leather halter top.

"Hella… Why do I have to do this?" said a clearly exasperated Magia as she was dragged by the arm toward the sign-up booth. Her eyes met Hiei's she passed but both quickly looked away.

"Because," said Hella slowly, "there's going to be _tons_ of cute guys here to play Romeo, and we both need boyfriends!"

"No, _you_ need a boyfriend. I'm perfectly happy with being single," said Magia.

"The poor thing's in denial..." said Hella.

"Whatever…" said Magia. The two girls filled out the sign up sheets and turned them in. After that, Magia found herself being dragged around by Hella once more.

"He's cute," said Hella, "Oh, and so is he… What about him? Hello handsome!"

The spirit team watched as Hella dragged Magia up to them.

"These guys are cute. What about one of them?" said Hella.

"For the last time, Hella… I Do Not Need A Boyfriend!" said a clearly agitated Magia.

"Ah, don't be that way!" said Kuwabara suddenly, "_I'd _be happy to go out with you."

"In your dreams…" said Magia, turning her head to the side with an annoyed look on her face.

"Aww! Come on! You know you want some—" Kuwabara was cut off by Hiei's fist.

"No one wants to date you. Get over it," said the fire apparition in question to the now unconscious oaf on the floor.

"We're sorry about Kuwabara," said Kurama politely to Hella and Magia.

"Yeah, the idiot doesn't know when to keep his big mouth shut," said Yusuke.

"Last I checked, Urameshi, you weren't much better," said Hiei coldly. This caused Magia and Hella to giggle.

"My name is Hella," said Hella looking at Kurama with little stars in her eyes, "and this is Magia."

"It's a pleasure to meet you," said Kurama with a polite bow. Hiei and Yusuke just stood there until Kurama bent their backs for them saying, "Don't be rude."

Keiko returned at this moment and was very confused. "What's going on here?" Then she spotted Magia and Hella. "Oh, hello! My name is Keiko," said Keiko, bowing like Kurama did.

"Magia," said Magia, bowing as well.

"I'm Hella," said Hella, holding out her hand. "And why do people keep bowing to us?"

"You're not from around here, are you?" asked Kurama.

"Nope," said Hella, "We're from the good old U.S.A," said Hella.

"Hella's only staying for the play, but I live here," said Magia.

"Well, consider a bow to be the Japanese equivalent of a handshake," said Kurama, taking Hella's still outstretched hand in his for a said handshake.

"Trust Kurama to know all about foreign cultures…" said Yusuke rolling his eyes.

"Shut up, Yusuke," said Keiko, whapping him on the head.

"AUDITIONS ARE STARTING! PLEASE FILE INTO THE AUDITORIUM IF YOU HAVE SIGNED UP! IF YOU HAVEN'T, YOU CANNOT AUDITION!" said the announcer over the intercom.

"Well, I guess it's time…" said Kurama. The group dragged Kuwabara into the auditorium to do their auditions.

_One Week Later_

Only the main characters and their parts will be listed)

**Audition Results:**

_Nurse:_ Keiko

_Mercutio:_ Yusuke

_Benvolio:_ Suuichi

_Tybalt:_ Jin

_Romeo:_ Hiei

_Juliet:_ Magia  
  
**Thank you for auditioning!**

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T GET A PART?" said Kuwabara and Hella together as they failed to find their names on the list.

"What the hell is Jin doing here?" said Yusuke looking at the currently dancing Jin.

"When did he try out? I don't remember him being there. On that matter, how did he get here anyway?" Kurama pondered to himself.

"HA! I MADE IT! I TOLD HIM I COULD DO IT! HA!" said Jin who was receiving a lot of strange stares from everyone else in the room save for the Spirit Detectives and Magia.

Hiei and Magia took one look at their roles and one look at each other. One thought was voiced between both of them.

"Shit…"


	2. Chapter 2

I AM SOOOOOO SORRY! My com's been having issues with me. I'd almost completed it,then my drive crashed completely with the info on it. I was hoping to get that fixed sowouldn't have to write all of this over again, but alas, it was a no go.I didn't mean to take this long to update. Schooljust started, so I'm swamped withhomework. Where'd they get the word 'Softmore' from anyway? Anyway,I'm using the com in my dad's room right now. -blegh- It's so slow!

But I really didn't mean to take this long. Just for you, you get to see Hiei pissed. :P Thanks for being patient! I'll try to get the next chapter up soon.

Ja,

Kon

"No way," Hiei said, staring down the toddler stubbornly, "I'm not going to be Romeo. No possible chance in Hell!"

"You have no choice, Hiei. It's the play or jail for the next 400 years. Your choice, but I'd suggest the play, because jail isn't fun," Koenma replied shakily.

"I AM NOT GOING TO KISS SOME BAKA ONNA THAT HAPPENS TO HAVE SOME ACTING SKILLS!" Hiei yelled furiously.

"Alright, then I'll have Ogre take you to your cell," Koenma retorted having expected Hiei to snap soon.

"Uh… But Koenma, sir….." Ogre said, obviously scared out of his mind at the prospect of being within 10 feet of the enraged fire demon.

"Never mind," Hiei said as he turned to leave.

"Where are you going, Hiei?" Koenma asked, standing on his chair.

"Well you _are_ the Prince of the Spirit World, aren't you? Figure it out." With that, he was gone.

"….. Man, I thought I was a goner for sure… Hiei's scary!" Koenma said with a sigh of relief.

"Hella…." Magia growled dangerously.

"Wh-what?" Hella stuttered.

"You know what…" Magia said as she approached her friend with twitching fingers that were itching to strangle something.

"N-now Magia, you promised you'd join…."

"But I never said anything about playing Juliet! There's No Way In Hell I'm Going To Kiss Some Idiot Guy I Don't Even Know!" Magia snapped.

"Magia, just do it for me! At least he's kinda cute…" Hella said.

"Is that _all_ you ever think about!"

"Magia…I-- I'm sorry…." Hella whimpered, afraid of her friend's wrath.

"Never mind, I'm going for a walk…"

"Oh great, not you. That's the last think I need right now," Magia groaned when she spotted our favorite fire apparition leaning against the base of a tree.

"Hold your tongue onna, or I'll chop it off," Hiei said irritably. His hand rested almost lazily on the hilt of his katana as he looked at Magia with a narrowed eye.

"You wouldn't have the guts," Magia said arrogantly.

"On the contrary," Hiei said, holding his blade to her neck, "I'm sure I'd enjoy it immensely."

"H-how did you move so fast?" Magia asked, startled. She wasn't even able to follow him! One minute he was resting under the tree, and the next she had a sword pressed against her throat. "You're not human!"

"Very good, ningen. No, I'm not human, and if it weren't for the fact that I'm still on probation, I wouldn't hesitate to end your worthless life," he growled.

"Remove your sword, or I'll remove something else," Magia replied in a dangerously calm voice.

"Hn, what are you going to do? Hit me with your little whip? Or maybe a rose whip?" Hiei taunted as he removed the blade.

"How—" before she could even ask, he was gone.

"Alright, I thought we'd jump in with Act III, Scene i," the director said, "That'll get us off to a fine, energetic start. Alright places everybody. Suuichi, please start us off."

"Of course," said Kurama. Kurama and Yusuke stood next to each other, both looking at their scripts.

"I pray thee, good Mercutio, let's retire:  
The day is hot, the Capulets abroad,  
And, if we meet, we shall not scape a brawl;  
For now, these hot days, is the mad blood stirring." Kurama read.

"Thou art like one of those fellows that when he  
enters the confines of a tavern claps me his sword  
upon the table and says 'God send me no need of  
thee!' and by the operation of the second cup draws  
it on the drawer, when indeed there is no need." came Yusuke's reply.

"Am I like such a fellow?" Kurama asked.

"Come, come, thou art as hot a Jack in thy mood as  
any in Italy, and as soon moved to be moody, and as  
soon moody to be moved." Yusuke said.

"And what to?"

"Nay, an there were two such, we should have none  
shortly, for one would kill the other. Thou! why,  
thou wilt quarrel with a man that hath a hair more,  
or a hair less, in his beard, than thou hast: thou  
wilt quarrel with a man for cracking nuts, having no  
other reason but because thou hast hazel eyes: what  
eye but such an eye would spy out such a quarrel?  
Thy head is as fun of quarrels as an egg is full of  
meat, and yet thy head hath been beaten as addle as  
an egg for quarrelling: thou hast quarreled with a  
man for coughing in the street, because he hath  
wakened thy dog that hath lain asleep in the sun:  
didst thou not fall out with a tailor for wearing  
his new doublet before Easter? With another, for  
tying his new shoes with old riband? And yet thou  
wilt tutor me from quarrelling!" Yusuke exclaimed.

"An I were so apt to quarrel as thou art, any man  
should buy the fee-simple of my life for an hour and a quarter." Kurama retorted.

"The fee-simple! O simple!" Yusuke taunted.

"By my head, here come the Capulets." Kurama warned.

"By my heel, I care not."

"Wow, Yususke and Kurama are pretty good!" Keiko whispered to Kuwabara, who was standing next to her.

"I don't understand a word they're saying," Kuwabara replied.

"Of course you don't," Hiei snapped, "You're an idiot."

"Hey! You say that to my face, shrimp!" Kuwabara said loudly.

" SHHHHH!" everyone hushed.

"Sorry," Kuwabara muttered.

They watched as Jin and a few others walked to the center of the stage where Yusuke and Kurama were.

"Follow me close, for I will speak to them.  
Gentlemen, good den: a word with one of you." Jin said, first to the others, then to Yusuke and Kurama.

"And but one word with one of us? Couple it with  
something; make it a word and a blow." Yusuke said.

"You shall find me apt enough to that, sir, an you  
will give me occasion." Jin replied.

"Could you not take some occasion without giving?" Yusuke asked.

"Mercutio, thou consort'st with Romeo,--".

"

Consort! what, dost thou make us minstrels? an  
thou make minstrels of us, look to hear nothing but  
discords: here's my fiddlestick; here's that shall  
make you dance. 'Zounds, consort!" Yusuke cut Jin off.

"We talk here in the public haunt of men:  
Either withdraw unto some private place,  
And reason coldly of your grievances,  
Or else depart; here all eyes gaze on us." Kurama warned the two men.

"Men's eyes were made to look, and let them gaze;  
I will not budge for no man's pleasure, I." Yusuke said.

Hiei stepped foreword.

"Well, peace be with you, sir: here comes my man." Jin said, walking toward Hiei.

"But I'll be hanged, sir, if he wear your livery:  
Marry, go before to field, he'll be your follower;  
Your worship in that sense may call him 'man.'" Yusuke said.

"Romeo, the hate I bear thee can afford  
No better term than this,--thou art a villain." Jin said insultingly to Hiei.

"Tybalt, the reason that I have to love thee  
Doth much excuse the appertaining rage  
To such a greeting: villain am I none;  
Therefore farewell; I see thou know'st me not." Hiei said without so much as looking at the script he had in his hand.

"Boy, this shall not excuse the injuries  
That thou hast done me; therefore turn and draw." Jin said.

"I do protest, I never injured thee,  
But love thee better than thou canst devise,  
Till thou shalt know the reason of my love:  
And so, good Capulet,--which name I tender  
As dearly as my own,--be satisfied." Hiei said.

_Someone please kill me…_ he thought.

"O calm, dishonorable, vile submission!  
Alla stoccata carries it away." Yusuke said. He drew an imaginary sword and pointed it toward Jin. "Tybalt, you rat-catcher, will you walk?"

"What wouldst thou have with me?" Jin asked.

"Good king of cats, nothing but one of your nine  
lives; that I mean to make bold withal, and as you  
shall use me hereafter, drybeat the rest of the  
eight. Will you pluck your sword out of his pitcher  
by the ears? make haste, lest mine be about your  
ears ere it be out." Yusuke taunted.

"I am for you." Jin said, drawing his own imaginary sword.

"Gentle Mercutio, put thy rapier up." Hiei said.

"Come, sir, your passado." Yusuke said. He and Jin pretended to engage in a vicious sword fight while still holding their scripts.

"Draw, Benvolio; beat down their weapons.  
Gentlemen, for shame, forbear this outrage!  
Tybalt, Mercutio, the prince expressly hath  
Forbidden bandying in Verona streets:  
Hold, Tybalt! good Mercutio!" Hiei said as he made to hold Yusuke back. Jin made a stabbing motion under Hiei's arm. Yusuke's eyes widened as he held his side. Jin and the people who came with him fled.

"I am hurt.  
A plague o' both your houses! I am sped.  
Is he gone, and hath nothing?" Yusuke groaned.

"What, art thou hurt?" Kurama asked worriedly.

Ay, ay, a scratch, a scratch; marry, 'tis enough.  
Where is my page?" Yusuke looked around and spotted an extra. "Go, villain, fetch a surgeon." He said, shoving him away. The extra left in a hurried fashion.

"Courage, man; the hurt cannot be much." Hiei said putting a hand on Yusuke's back gently as his face displayed concern.

"No, 'tis not so deep as a well, nor so wide as a  
church-door; but 'tis enough, 'twill serve: ask for  
me to-morrow, and you shall find me a grave man. I  
am peppered, I warrant, for this world. A plague o'  
both your houses! 'Zounds, a dog, a rat, a mouse, a  
cat, to scratch a man to death! a braggart, a  
rogue, a villain, that fights by the book of  
arithmetic! Why the devil came you between us? I  
was hurt under your arm." Yusuke spat at Hiei.

"I thought all for the best." Hiei said in a slightly horror-struck voice.

"Help me into some house, Benvolio,  
Or I shall faint. A plague o' both your houses!  
They have made worms' meat of me: I have it,  
And soundly too: your houses!" Yusuke said. He and Kurama walked a way off, Yusuke leaning on Kurama heavily.

"This gentleman, the prince's near ally,  
My very friend, hath got his mortal hurt  
In my behalf; my reputation stain'd  
With Tybalt's slander,--Tybalt, that an hour  
Hath been my kinsman! O sweet Juliet,  
Thy beauty hath made me effeminate  
And in my temper soften'd valour's steel!" Hiei said bitterly.

Kurama walked back up to Hiei.

"O Romeo, Romeo, brave Mercutio's dead!  
That gallant spirit hath aspired the clouds,  
Which too untimely here did scorn the earth," he said.

"That's enough!" the director said, "That was fantastic! Wonderful! Glorious! Are you sure that none of you have ever had acting lessons? That was sheer brilliance for a mere read-through!"

"Nope, this is our first," Yusuke said.

"Magnificent acting! That fight looked like you'd fought with each other before!"

"Eh he he…" Yusuke and Jin said together.

"And Hiei, you didn't once look at your script! You've memorized it already?"

"Hn…" Hiei said indifferently. The director was taken aback for a moment, until Kurama spoke.

"Hiei has impeccable memory, though he usually doesn't speak more than he has to," Kurama explained.

"Ah, Suuichi, your performance was wonderful as well! Alright, that's it for today. See you tomorrow! Same time, same place!"

The building began to clear out.

"Not bad, for a smart ass," Magia said as she passed him.

"Hn," Hiei replied as he suppressed a blush that threatened to creep up on him,

_What the hell am I blushing for? What am I, and idiot? _he scolded himself.

"You were _amazing_, Suuichi!" Hella exclaimed as she clung to the fox.

"Uh, thanks…" Kurama replied as he tried to make her let go.

_Someone please kill me! _Hiei thought again as they all left the building.


End file.
